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| Habits: Good & Bad Uzma Mazhar “Ward
off passing thoughts, for if you do not,
they will become ideas. In
this excerpt Jawziyyah has very candidly expressed the developmental
stages of the process
of habit formation. Passing thought > idea
> desire > resolve > action > habit A passing thought, if allowed to persist when we engage in it becomes a strong idea, this strong idea creates a desire for that particular object, the desire becomes resolve, which then leads to action. When we continue to repeat that action it becomes a habit. A
passing thought gains power and momentum by the attention and
encouragement we give it. The more we
attend to it, the stronger it gets. It feeds on the energy of
attention and permission that we allow it. A passing thought can be negative or positive. Hence this pattern could apply equally to developing positive or negative habits. If we follow this pattern we can learn to develop good habits and also to unlearn bad habits and substitute them for healthier ones. Thoughts are extremely powerful. Nothing exists in this world that was not a thought before it became a reality. From a simple pencil to a complex computer, everything starts its existence as a simple thought or idea. In the same way habits start as thoughts. We can't afford to not pay attention to our thoughts. Thoughts also have the power to change our mental and emotional condition. Addictions
of all kinds follow this pattern of becoming habits.
It is at the initial level when it is a mere thought that if we are alert
and conscious enough we can either encourage it or crush it. At this
level getting rid of a negative thought is most painless. By the
time it has become an established habit it is much more difficult to
erase. Like Pavlov's dog we become conditioned to automatically salivate at the sound of a bell. We function at the instinctive level of 'nafs hayvani' (animal self) which is driven by basic desires to fulfill its physical needs. It lives to survive, e.g.: I am hungry so I get a candy bar, etc. without questioning if it is right (healthy). Its sole purpose and function is to avoid pain and discomfort or to gain pleasure and satisfy its needs. It doesn't question right from wrong, focusing only on satisfying that particular need of the moment. Cultural and family traditions follow a similar route. We become accustomed to certain ways of doing something and once established we quit questioning its 'rightness' validity or benefit. A client once told me that the first fight she and her husband had was about whether it is right to eat ice cream with a teaspoon or a tablespoon! We don't even realize how many simple habits become so entrenched in us that we can't see that there could possibly be another way of doing it which could be equally right. These habits are often the cause of marital conflicts, escalating the arguments to autocratically claiming that 'I am right, and this is the only way to do it'.As children we learn beliefs and patterns of behavior that we continue to follow without ever examining them. These can range from something as simple as eating ice cream with a teaspoon to how we treat men and women in our family. As children we learn passively, by absorbing and imitating what we see around us. Children don't have the intellect to understand, question or analyze these as concepts, except at the most basic, concrete, black and white level. These become 'imprinted' in their psyche and they continue to live by these 'rules'. I have yet to come across anyone who sits their child down and teaches them that they have to be mean and nasty, cruel and ruthless. Yet children learn this. How? By example... which is a much more powerful means of learning than lecturing. Abusive parents produce abusive children, victim mentality produces victim thinking, and if you see generosity and compassion in your parents you will practice the same. The core of the issue is in developing the ability to discern right from wrong as soon as we have the initial thought and as it progresses, which requires alertness and awareness. Being conscious requires living in the 'here and now' instead of on auto-pilot and not paying attention to what goes on in our minds. From the Islâmic perspective conditioned automatic thinking is discouraged. Instead one is encouraged to live in a conscious and aware manner, making the right choice at every step. Since we are accountable for our thoughts and actions, and as actions proceed from thoughts, we cannot afford to not be aware of our thoughts so that we can make good choices. This includes the responsibility to educate ourselves and have the knowledge of what is right according to sound moral and ethical values... not our own whims. Our
thoughts are significant enough that God calls us to account for them. The significance of critical thinking is referred to in the Qur'ân in the story of Ibrahîm (aas), he questioned the tradition of worshiping idols, he did not blindly keep following the family tradition just to keep peace or not offend his parents. He did not rest until he was guided to make the right choice. Similar message in the story of the Queen of Sheba. Learning to become aware and to think is an extremely necessary ingredient of life. Without it we are reduced to the level of herds of animals that can be shepherded in any direction - right or wrong. Islam requires that we have the courage to defy traditions that are harmful for humanity, even if it goes against our own family, community or culture. And this is the irony: Instead of encouraging the Islâmic tradition of fighting the personal wrongs and those of family and society we teach our youth to be compliant and not question tradition. And so the abuses continue. We have made meaningless traditions our gods, we have become herds of sheep, and we have made mindless ignorance the inheritance for our children.
© July 2004 Uzma Mazhar UzmaMazhar@hotmail.com |