| Alcoholism & Mood Swings
Question:
Hello. I am married to a recovering alcoholic, a fine person, but one who seems to be depressed whenever it is time to stop a favorite activity and just be at home. There is anger is I ask whats wrong, but it is difficult to watch the silence, the withdrawal, the sudden
soft-spokenness, and the staring into space. No matter how much attention or participation in an activity of thier choice I do, it seems to never be enough. I do not want to make matters worse, but it is frustrating to watch this. I am starting to strongly feel that my mate simply hates being in our home. I know I am loved, it is not that, I know it is an emotional issue. What can I do to help, or at least what can I do to make it less hurtful to me?
Edwina
Response:
Hello Edwina
Is your husband in an out-patient treatment program for alcoholism? If not, it would be very beneficial for him to be in a program with one-on-one counseling and AA groups. Treatment for alcoholism is not just quitting drinking, but also learning coping skills for everyday life. This involves everyday mundane existence. Recovering alcoholics have minimal healthy coping skills, and without hiding behind the alcohol and its ups and downs, they find it difficult to engage in everyday activities. They get bored easily, have few interests other than drinking, have poor social skills and have difficulty in intimate and personal relationships. These issues have to be addressed and resolved, or one is just a 'dry drunk'... ie: not drinking but with the mental make-up of an alcoholic. There is a higher incidence of relapse since they have not learned how to cope without the alcohol and it is easier to start drinking again in a crisis. Encourage your husband to seek counseling.
In many cases, after some months of recovery, the underlying depression or other mental disorder starts surfacing in an alcoholic. This is known as 'Dual Diagnosis'. Ask your husband to check with his psychiatrist... he may need medication if this is the case.
As for you, it would be a good idea to attend some Al-Anon meetings, explore the dynamics of co-dependency and get some counseling. Learning to build your identity and self-worth is the most important step for you. Negative people pull down those around them. Recognize that it is not easy to live in this situation and focus on building your strength.
Hope this helps
Regards
Uzma Mazhar
|
