| 'Being' Muslim or 'Doing' Muslim
Question:
Could you please tell me what it means to be a Muslim. I
believe in one God (or as understand it better God is one: everything and
everyone is a part of God, a creation of God, God is in everything.) I
believe that Mohammed was a messenger from God. I understand the
reason for (why it supports man needs) to believe have faith in God, pray,
be charitable, fast, to go on a pilgrimage. I understand that
following the 10 commandments would protect one from going down
dangerous, difficult roads. That a society would be more equitable
and joyous if we were grateful to God for our lives and if we love our
brothers and sisters as ourselves. Am I a Muslim? Why do I
balk at the idea of actually converting.
I
become so angry when I am told by the Muslims that I speak to that it says
categorically that women must wear a hijab. That the sexes should be
segregated. That my daughter (if she is a Muslim) must marry a
Muslim but that my son can have different freedom. That so many
things from my culture like ballet, music songs, dating are haraam.
Must I just give up the 20th century to be a Muslim. I
am in control of my mind. I will not be tempted to enter into sexual
relations with friends that are male. I have friends that happen to
be homosexual must I never see them.? Must I see them as sinners.
Do I as all Muslims have told me (I read different things) that only
Muslims have a chance of going to heaven after death. The rest of us
are idolaters and will go to hell.
Why to my Muslim friends tell me that the media distorts what Islam really
is. That Islam is so fair to women, women are equal. Yet in all
Muslim countries women seem to be so badly treated. Why will Muslims
never look at themselves honestly. The Muslim men I see around me are like
little tin gods in their own home. I know that this is my limited
experience but all the Muslim women I know put up with behaviour that any
self-respecting Western women would throw her hands up at. The women
hold the family together while caring for the ego of bossy, superior men.
I want to pray. I want to feel close to God. I feel frightened
of committing myself to a religion that seems so stagnant. I
know that there are historically reasons for the difficulties in many
countries but other countries that are poor even if they treat their women
badly to not say that they treat them well that this is how they
should be treated. Why if Muslim seem to have so much more faith
than the secular West is there so much corruption and cruelty and lack of
basic human values.
Something pulls me to Islam. Maybe I want harmony in my home but I
am so irritated by what I see and by all this emphasis on keeping women in
their place. What does no compulsion in religion actually mean.
Why to the men have the right to say what is followed and to what
degree.
Confused.
Thanks
Christine
Response:
Hello Christine
Thanks for your great question. Your concerns are extremely valid
and legitimate. You have voiced the feelings of many muslims and
non-muslims.
From what you tell me about your beliefs, you seem to believe in the
Islamic creed. My sense is that you are not having so much of a
problem with the Islamic faith but the distorted versions that are being practiced
by some muslims. It seems that you are around muslims, and you must
have seen that not all muslims interpret religion the same way.
There is a hadith about a bedouin who came to the Prophet (saw) and asked
him for the minimum requirements of Islam because that is all he was
willing to follow. The Prophet (saw) told him about the 5 pillars
and told him that if he could follow that he was following Islam and he
would get the rewards for it. So following the 5 pillars is the most
basic level. Beyond it each person does what they are capable of
doing. So for those who want to follow only the basics, this is all
they need to do. For those who want to understand the philosophy and
the spirit of the message, they can only get that by studying it. For
the questions you are asking, you are not going to get answers from people
who are not interested in 'being' a muslim, but only in 'doing' the muslim
thing.
Issues about hijāb, segregation of the genders, music, etc. are open to
our understanding of it. People from different countries have their
own versions and cultural interpretations. Sometimes it is not a
matter of right or wrong, but whatever they are comfortable with doing and
are familiar with.
Most importantly, following a religion has to be YOUR choice, and based on
your conviction, understanding and ability. Basing it on what other
people believe to be the 'right thing' does not help. Everyone has
an opinion about religion, it is based on their understanding, their
interpretation and their own level of faith and conviction. Each
person can only do as much as they are capable of. Imposing one's
beliefs on another does not make sense and it is not Islamic either.
Judging another's faith and how they practice it is also not
Islamic. If you are looking for answers and expect to find it from
other people... you are going to get a million different versions. However,
if you are looking for faith then it is your own effort that will provide
the answers. Harmony and serenity comes from doing what one
believes, from deep within; not from doing what others impose. Sooner
or later, that backfires and causes more pain and suffering.
Personally, I believe that we evolve in Islam. As we grow and study
it, the more we understand its depth, sensitivity and beauty; then
following it makes more sense. Educating oneself about Islam is the most
important step if you want to have any conviction. Quick answers and
fixes is not the way to go. Islam is not as rigid and limiting as
some make it. It has great depth. Most importantly, if one is not
following it from one's heart and with sincerity then one is being
hypocritical... and that to me is not all that great a relationship with
Allah.
Hope this helps.
Regards,
Uzma
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