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Question: 
I am always comparing myself with others and compete in having more or better than them.  How can I get over this "comparing", myself, my house, my children to others?  I want to be truly happy with myself and for those who have more, or are better than me.  What to do?

Answer:
Comparing yourself to others and competing to achieve what they have is an expression of fear.  The underlying issue is not competitiveness, but fear and shame.  Low self-esteem and insecurity are masked in an effort to be as good as the other.  The underlying fear being that you are not lovable enough, good enough, smart enough or worthy enough, etc.  The 'false or ego self' is a product of inadequacies within self.  And it is this ego self or 'nafs' that instigates competition.  

In order to overcome these inadequacies one gets into comparing and competing.  So if I have the same kind of house or car or clothes maybe I will feel as good/rich/smart enough.  The attempt to copy others continue to escalate endlessly.  However this generally never creates inner happiness, satisfaction or peace.

Until you address the parts of yourself that are fear/shame-based, you will continue to experience the insecurity that expresses itself in your need to compete with others. Accepting your strengths and weaknesses is important.  Being objective and realistic about yourself helps.  Everyone is not the same.  

Competition and comparison is different from the drive to do good and be worthy.  This desire to do good is based on your own value system and does not incite one to compete with others.  Functioning from this level, you get your reinforcement from your own conscience, your ethical and moral values.  Satisfaction level is also different.  If I tell the truth only because others do so, it will not give me the same satisfaction as when I do it because that is a value I hold as important to me.  

Regards
Uzma Mazhar