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Doubts & Questions about Islam

Question
Dear Sister,
Assalaam O Elekum,

Few months ago I was going to Europe to see my brother. On the plane ride I felt extremely afraid. I realized that I am extremely afraid of Death. I realized that I am not ready to face the death. It made me feel that my "Iman" is not strong enough and I should work on it. I realized that I was doing some bad stuff, which Allah does not like.

I am 36 yrs old Muslim male from xxx. I migrated to this country in xxx after getting married to my cousin who was raised in this country. I am an engineer by profession and did my masters in electrical engineering from xxx University of xxx and now working a nice comfortable job in xxx for the last seven years.... So you can say that I am living the American dream.

My problem is that I am always in doubts (Tashkeek) about Islam being the best religion or the “Deen” of Allah. I want to solidify my “Iman” and for that I say all prayers, Recite Darood Shareef like 200 times everyday. Read Quran with Interpretation but still more I do it, more I have these thoughts. Some times I feel that, am I a “Munafiq”. This is making me really depressed. On top of that I am extremely afraid of Death. I keep thinking about it all the time and quite frequently have these panic attacks. I feel my iman about after life is very weak. I’ve stopped watching movies and listening to music. Whenever I am alone I am trying to make “Dhikhir”.

Different interpretations of some minor “Fiqh Masail” bother me a lot and the importance many people give to them; For example keeping the beard, Length of Beard, Eating “Zabiha” of Christians and Jews.  I don’t know what to follow or what not to follow and how to understand Islam. I used to think that I understand the spirit of Islam, but now I am really confused. All my life I'd always been interested in Philosophy, sociology and finding the true Islam; and I used to think that I know what Islam is and what life is about - but not any more.

I don’t feel like I have any friends who can understand this issue. I am extremely impressed with Western especially American civilization and its achievements which some people argue is because of Christian faith. And I've become extremely disappointed in our Ummah's attitude and performance. Sometimes I think of converting to Christianity. I try to shed these thoughts from my head but not too much success.

So this is my story in brief, I hope you read my email and at least reply even If you think you cannot help me. I’ve sent some mails to some other Islamic web sites but did not receive any reply which is really frustrating.

I saw your Telephone number listed on your web site. Would that be OK if I call you?

Thank you Very much,
A Muslim in Distress

Response:
Wa Aleikum Salam

Allah Ta'ala has given us a thinking mind for a purpose... to think, reflect, question and explore so we can have faith with conviction.  In the Quran Allah Ta'ala asks us to think and reflect on everything.  As regards to having questions and doubts about Islam... It is a good sign.. it encourages us to find answers to those questions.  Islam is a religion that appeals to the intellect and the heart.  It is a rational religion, not based on superstitious beliefs without a base.  It is not a weakness in faith to have questions.  It is a sign of intelligence.  Human beings are not robots that we get programmed to saying prayers and that is it, nor does Allah Ta'ala ask us to be like sheep.. and follow a leader without using our own mind.  Intelligence demands that we look into matters deeply and find answers that satisfy us, because only then can we have 100% conviction. 

It is unfortunate that in most Muslim societies this responsibility is labeled as lack of faith.  This type of maturity, intelligence and commitment is what Allah Ta'ala demands of us.  This is how we educate ourselves about Islam and God.  And this is what keeps us from being hypocritical in our faith.

Allah Ta'ala also tells us that we will be questioned if we follow any tradition just because we saw our parents do it... which implies that we have to use our own minds to be convinced about Islam, not just follow a tradition without verifying it.  You know how some things that are cultural are mistaken as religious teachings... if we follow those we are harming our own faith.  As adults it is our responsibility to study Islam and make a conscious choice to follow it, how can we do it without having questions?  The Prophet (saw) used to encourage people to ask him questions... answering questions clarifies issues and erases confusion.  The Hadith is full of questions that people brought to the Prophet (saw).  If asking questions is wrong he would have stopped them and we might not know the answers to many issues covered in the ahadith.

There are many things in the Western culture that are excellent and commendable.  There is no harm in taking good things of any culture.  There is a hadith that after a war the ransom for prisoners of war was that if they teach Muslims how to read and write they would be set free.  That is an example of taking something from another culture for the advancement of the Muslims. 

Another example is that as Islam spread Muslims translated scientific and other literature from Latin and Greek into Arabic, which they later built upon.  This again benefit the Muslims although the body of knowledge that they translated was not Islamic.  So it is wrong to say that only Islamic knowledge is what we need. 

The limited, narrow minded and bigoted Muslims make rules about such things that go against the spirit of Islam, which is advancement and progressive development.  Such narrow minded thinking is detrimental to Muslims in the long run. 

Muslims stopped growing many hundreds of years ago and we are seeing the damage it has done to our collective psyche.  We have become so blind that instead of embracing the good from other cultures we are creating a fear of it and thus shackling ourselves even more so.  The Western world is way ahead in scientific development, we should work at catching up.  Human Rights in most Islamic countries are deplorable.  Actually we are told in the Quran to 'vie with each other in doing good' with non-Muslims instead of fighting about religious differences.   

There is a verse in the Quran that tells us that God created different cultures and peoples so we can learn from each other.  At the core all religions have the same ethics, the same social and moral values.  All religions teach respect, responsibility, living a moral life, compassion and service to humanity.  Islam teaches this just as other religions.  Muslims have lost their focus on the inner dimensions of religion, as well as the social dimensions.  We pay a heavy price for focusing only on the externals or rituals of religion... it cuts out the heart and spirit of religion. 

The development of Western culture has come with a heavy price to them, the separation of religion and state allowed them to move forward; historically as long as their priests dictated their social & political life they were in the Dark Ages.  I don't believe that the American civilization is at the place that it is today due to Christianity, but because of their focus on setting up systems that work and the efforts they make in addressing social problems.  It has been only about 50 yrs that women got the right to vote or own property in the US.  The West has achieved this status because their social and political system works.  Most Islamic countries have made a mess of their system and that is why we see the problems.

My sense is that both cultures have taken extreme positions and both have suffered because of it.  That is why Islam teaches us to follow a middle or balanced path.  Losing God from our life causes just as many problems as making God into a dictator does.

Islam's focus on justice is the one area that every Islamic country fails to honor.  It is because of this failure that we see the problems.  Which Islamic country can honestly stand up and claim to give women or the poor their rights?  With time instead of Muslims honoring Islam we started going back to the customs & traditions of the Jâhilîyah... ie: taking away rights and oppressing the needy.

So the problem is not Islam but how Muslims have failed to interpret and implement it.  Poor leadership, self-centered greed and lack of knowledge of Islam has been the downfall of Muslims everywhere.

As regards to fear of death, being scared is natural, almost everyone is scared whether they admit it or not.  That too is a sign of faith, I don't believe any one of us is ready to stand in front of Allah Ta'ala and go through the final examination of our deeds.  Being afraid keeps us more conscious of our own actions and we hopefully will make a greater effort in doing the right thing, inshallah.

As far as issues like length of beard, etc... spending time on such nitty gritty matters can be a distraction for most people... our efforts should be focused on doing what we can do with ease, and pray that God guides us on matters that we are struggling with.  Inshallah, He will make such issues easier to understand and follow.  The Quran and Hadith tell us not to make our religion so difficult that we resent it and don't want to follow it. 

Faith grows in stages, there is no such thing as a perfect Muslim... so let it grow as you look for answers.  There is a verse in the Quran in which a bedouin says that he has faith and he is corrected, saying that he does not have faith as yet but he is just following the rituals.  So having faith is a process of growth.  

Hope this helps.
Regards,
Uzma Mazhar