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Virginity
Question: Response: Hello Sabrina You are in a difficult situation. The issue you need to consider is: What kind of relationship will you create if you start with dishonesty and lies? I understand that your family and culture does not condone extra-marital affairs... right or wrong is irrelevant at this point. What is done is done. Your choice needs to be based on what's the right thing to do now. Building another lie on a past lie seems to be a recipe for future disaster. Truth has a way of coming out. Suppose you can manage to deceive your husband... and then the truth comes out a few years down the road... you might even have a few kids by then... his trust in you will be betrayed and it will affect more people... would lying now make any sense then? Our actions always have consequences... and at some point in life we have to face these consequences... that is part of growing up and taking responsibility. Otherwise we suffer from guilt, shame, embarrassment and other negative feelings that compromise us further. In the future will you be able to feel equal in this relationship, or will you continue to compromise yourself with the fear 'what if he finds out?' Living in fear is not pleasant. My suggestion is to talk to your fiancé, be honest. You will be taking a risk but at least you will free yourself of this burden for the rest of your life. Trust is the basis of a healthy relationship. Regards Uzma Mazhar
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