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| Male Battering
The first reaction upon hearing about the
topic of battered men is that of disbelief - or an uncomfortable chuckle. Battered husbands are a
topic for jokes (such as the cartoon image of a woman chasing her husband
with a rolling-pin). Wives are often the perpetrators in depictions
of domestic violence in newspaper comics. Battered husbands have
historically been either ignored or subjected to ridicule and abuse. Most people have a difficult time even
imagining that husband battering could take place. The abuse of
husbands is a rarely discussed phenomenon. Nonfatal violence committed by women against
men is less likely to be reported to the police than is violence by men
against women; thus, women assaulters who come to the attention of the
police are likely to be those who have produced a fatal result.
A defining characteristic of most abused
men is that they are extremely embarrassed by their predicament. Most men
who have reached out for help have been laughed at or scorned. They are
often portrayed as weak and cowardly. This is simply not true. Men are subject to the same types of abuse
as women, including physical abuse. These abuses range from a slap in the
face to a kitchen knife being plunged into a husband's stomach while
sleeping to being run down by his wife who was driving the family vehicle. Men also report emotional and sexual abuse,
including threats and insults, withholding money, controlling personal
activities, attempts to change him, unwanted sexual touching, forced
sexual activity and sexual degradation. Men are also less likely to call the police, even when there is injury, because, like women, they feel shame about disclosing family violence. But for many men, the shame is compounded by the shame of not being able to keep their wives under control, ie: a "real man" would be able to keep her under control. The police tends to share these traditional gender role expectations. As a result, the police are reluctant to arrest women for domestic assault. Women know this. That is, they know they are likely to get away with it. As in the case of other crimes, the probability of a woman assaulting her partner is strongly influenced by what she thinks she can get away with. |